Sex and the elderly.

In the United Kingdom sex does not happen. It is officially not talked about but amazingly we have some statistics to be proud of despite its non existence for example the high rates of teenage pregnancies and increasing rates of STD in the elderly.

Increasingly the idea that elderly people, like those over about 23 years of age, are actually having, and worse still enjoying it, is causing some disquiet in certain journalistic circles.

This might be due to the fact that if you have sex, an allegedly pleasurable activity, it might incur some risks as well as be morally abhorrent to the ruling classes unless it is for procreation purposes rather than recreational purposes (dirty buggers says the average Daily Mail reader).

It would appear that there is an increasingly high rate of STDs in our “senior citizens” of the bonkaholic generation. Remember that these bonkaholics grew up in the generation that created sex in the swinging sixties and it would seem they are still swinging.

The contraceptive pill is now passé for they are postmenopausal and so the threat of pregnancy has passed them by but has been replaced by other problems like certain dry or limp areas.

HRT is now the WD40 for the females who pioneered the liberation of women and the permissive society by using the Pill (dirty buggers) and the new male Wild Ones are using the Harley Davidson of the shaft world called Viagra (dirty buggers) and its successors to spread STDs to new levels in their age group.

From talking to GP colleagues whose practices dispense these drugs they are now the suppliers of lots of discrete under the counter brown paper packages of Viagra to the elderly who insist that these packages are supplied to them “with discretion” as they don’t want their wives to know of their purchases.

Furthermore the number of requests for “blue pills” for those over fifty who are “disappointing their wives” (aren’t males just so selfless?) or “who have met a new lady friend” increases year on year. A number of elderly “gentlemen” also request these pills in catering packs especially those who spend many months a year abroad in countries such as Thailand the so called “Sex Pats” (and they claim their winter fuel allowances!).

Curious how the sexual liberators of the sixties are now being liberated from the problems of elderly sex that would have denied their grandparents what they can now enjoy so much and freely? Isn’t pharmacology great?

Praise be to the Party for liberating the NHS and for “liberating” some of our elderly patients. Curious how HRT is free to all pensioners but other drugs are not. Did we miss sex equality? A lot of our patients do (dirty buggers).