'We are not reorganising the bureaucracy of the NHS, we are abolishing the bureaucracy of the NHS.'

Well comrade workers while you have been busily working away on the front line you will be pleased to know that the Party has been busily working away on your behalf to fulfill its promise quoted in our title. You can read the latest counter strike in the current NHS war on reducing bureaucracy here.

We will not do an in depth analysis of the 119 presumably new targets outcomes criteria in this (draft) document but if you are in need of inspiration for the war of NHS liberation you can see it in glorious monochrome and various shades of blue here.

Marvel at how little information will be required to enable your clinical commissioning group (CCG) to be authorized. We are sure your average GP will be able to put all this together on their laptop in a 10 minute coffee break and without the need for any additional bureaucracy. Remember comrades this is just a draft. By the time it is rewritten and revised we are sure that the final document will merely require a CCG to submit a piece of paper written in their best handwriting and signed in blood with the simple declaration of “Yes, we can.”

Comments in the piece in Pulse like “In everything we do we will be bending over backwards to have the maximum number of CCGs authorized with the minimum number of conditions” from Matron Dame Barbara will clearly appeal to a certain group and illustrate that the Party is keen to ensure their process is up and running ASAP at all costs. The three comments at the bottom of the piece provide a rather more forthright assessment.

Once again the Party keeping to its commitment of abolishing the bureaucracy of the NHS on our behalf. After all some bureaucrats are going have to prepare the single piece of piece of paper that will be needed, another one will have to read it, some will have to stamp it approved, approved with conditions or fail and then communicate all of this.

Of course like all good Soviet structures there is no right of appeal but you will be able to query assessments made by the NHSCB. You will be reassured by the words at the end of section 7.16 Ongoing assurance that the drive to reduce bureaucracy is going full steam ahead for it says “Details of the accountability framework will be published later in the year”.

Did you notice a subtle change of initials in the above paragraph? No National Commissioning Board (NCB) now have you noticed it is now the NHS commissioning board (NHSCB)? We love simplification here at ND Central.

Praise be to the Party for ensuring that more GP time will be spent at the coal face of real NHS working to come while allowing us to ignore patients as it strives to abolish the bureaucracy of the NHS.

More reductions to come comrades, toodle pip!