Yes, yes, yes!

NHS dumb, dumb, dumb went “live” (if you call a decerebrate amoeba in a vat of liquid nitrogen alive) for large parts of the country on April Fools Day this year and we suspect that most GPs have experience of the dumb, dumb ,dumb paper trail which can be summarized as such:

Patient has a problem.

Insert a raft of useless questions as per protocol from computer.

End with a possible diagnosis and the words:

Patient needs to see GP/A&E/ambulance/GP out of hours service within period 0 - 24 hours.

For months the GPs we are reporting on have read this but now the monkeys randomly typing in “diagnoses” into NHS dumb, dumb, dumb have produced a true work of Shakespeare purely by chance.

Yes one of the team of doctors here at ND Central had in their bulging intray the end bit being “Patient can manage this at home on their own”.

So at last in the whole of Northernshire there is at least one patient that can manage a condition on their own without NHS dumb, dumb, dumb diverting them everywhere and anywhere else but common sense.

Praise be to the Party for ensuring that the whole of the British population are thicker than an NHS dumb, dumb, dumb operater with a few weeks training. How did we ever manage before NHS dumb, dumb, dumb?