On a regular trip to our local pathology museum, some may prefer to call them supermarkets, one of the team after their sortie there drew up to the supermarket’s petroleum station and said onto the attendant as they usually do:
“My good man, will you be so kind as to fill up my tank with my usual aviation grade 5 star extra leaded petrol and don’t forget the ice, cherry and umbrella in ones glass too as it is a rather warm day”.
We were distraught when the curt reply in a Mister Sidney James’ voice came back saying:
“No can do guv we ain’t got any, will normal unleaded do?”
“It certainly won’t! How many more people have got Ferraris in these parts now?”
“None mate only you rich geezers called GPs and PCT chief execs although they go more for lambos idle rich gits and drug dealers.”
“So where has all the aviation grade 5 star extra leaded petrol gone?”
“Don’t ask me guv ask those in charge.”
So where has it all the gone?
To those cars that need it to function correctly?
To those in panic?
To those who don’t need it but think they do and will pay to get something they don’t actually need to have?
Bit like the health service. Where have all the GP appointments gone?
To those patients who are ill and need (unleaded) care?
To those who aren’t ill and but in panic and demand (aviation grade 5 star extra leaded petrol) care?
To those who aren’t ill and cost the health service a fortune because they don’t have to pay for something they don’t need?
While motorists have thought nothing about draining petrol stations dry for something they have to pay for our patients think even less of the health service which they can drain dry on a daily basis without even thinking of paying for it.
Patients use the NHS just like they do petrol stations. If they can’t get fuel at one petrol station (a doctor) they try another petrol station (a nurse). If that does not work you try a walk in centre or A&E until they get what they want not necessarily what they need.
In the same way as panicking for petrol has led to an increase in demand for things you would not normally need but had to pay for the same occurs on a daily basis at every GPs surgery and every A&E department in the land for appointments at absolutely no charge to a patient.
So the NHS meets patients’ wants for free but not necessarily real patients’ needs while the oil industry fails to meet punters’ wants for fuel at the expense of other punters’ needs.
So if you think petrol think health.
If your tank is full and your motor running fine do you really need a top of (unnecessary Party) healthcare?
If your tank is half full and your motor is running fine do you really need a top up of (unnecessary Party) healthcare?
If your tank is empty and the motor is not working do you really need a top of (unnecessary Party) healthcare or would you prefer real healthcare?
If you are genuinely ill what do you actually need? Treatment or a top up?
Think about it.
And a big thank you to the minimum four patients per doctor who have booked on the day appointments on several mornings in the last 2 weeks and did not show up for them only for the same four patients to book another four appointments on the day for the same afternoon with the same doctor.
Can’t get an appointment or fuel? Who do you blame?
Praise be to the Party for ensuring that supply is always outstripped by Party generated wants in contrast to the Party providing supply for real patient needs.
Now where we can get some aviation grade 5 star extra leaded petrol just in case our full tank runs out? Or should we book an appointment next week with our GP just in case we are ill and if we don’t show whatever?
We jest not this is happening and it won’t cost you a penny.
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Northern Doc was once a blog originally written by a group of GPs in Northernshire and expressed their experiences and frustrations of working in today's NHS. The pieces were compiled at social meetings after work and published anonymously in a once free society. Following the Government's Medical Council clamp down on freedom of thought, speech and expression by doctors and our belief that the views of a few doctors DO NOT represent the views of the profession as a whole their views will now be written by and published by a journalist who has previously contributed to the blog by virtue of social ties. Any inference that the word Doc means a doctor is now purely coincidental. This is as of the 22 April 2013.