One
of the great things about living in a country with socialized medicine is that
you also get socialized education for most. Those who can avoid it go to so
called public schools or more acutely privately paid for schools by the parents
of the offspring who go to these public schools. These produce a lot of
politicians.
The
medical press has been reporting one or two things in the past few days that
might invite a little bit of comment. The first is that there have been record numbers of admissions last week.
How
can this be? We mentioned that politicians go to public schools well NHS
managers are usually the products of socialized education and NHS England acts
as a repository for those in the bottom third of your average Northernshire
comprehensive school. This intellectual elite have been foisting completely
unnecessary pieces of work onto GPs in order to prevent admissions and A&E
attendances.
So
care plans, risk stratification, admission avoidance schemes all thought up by
the elite of England’s management cream who don’t work in the private sector should have meant that there were no admissions.
Of course these complete wastes of general practice time and effort have come
home to roost as anyone doing these retarded piles of excrement realized as
soon as they were announced. In the run up towards Christmas the old saying
that the proof of the pudding is in the eating applies to NHS England’s plans.
But
despair not dear reader for one of the intellectual elite has gone one better.
You can read about it here. What a good idea from a man clearly with his
fingers on the pulse probably of a patient with asystole and saying to all
admiring his skill we have a live one here comrades while busy doing nothing
useful about the situation.
This
is clearly a man who believes that at 15.55 on a Friday afternoon all GPs up
and down the land will be sitting in front of a warming fire supping cocoa and
looking forward to a well earned weekend away from the coal face. They won’t be
busy doing the something for the weekend Friday afternoon surgeries, seeing
numerous extras claiming to be emergencies because they want their
contraceptive pill they forgot to order as they are going on holiday tomorrow
or they lost their benzo prescription in a fight when they were busy doing
their Christmas shop lifting.
Just
supping cocoa and winding down. So what a good idea to send an email out with
cheery, practical advice. No doubt the computer will be switched on and the email
picked up instantly and Johnnie and Joanna GP will spring into action to help
an NHS England intellectual out in their time of acute need (for something functioning in between their
ears).
They
would surely call their man servant over and ask them to bring their leather
bound phone book with the names and addresses of all those who are vulnerable
and needy, all practices will have lists of these as a result of some of the
above initiatives. The GPs could then ask their man servant to dial the numbers
and after a few cheery words from the doctor all these patients will become
well again and so not need an ambulance or a hospital admission.
And
after ringing say one per cent of an average practice list size of say 1780
patients a mere 178 phone calls at a minute each the GP starting at 16.00 will
have finished at 18.58 only 28 minutes after their core hours but what a
difference this will have made.
And
all thanks to yet another great idea from one of NHS England’s finest.
Praise
be to the Party for not have to think to make this up. Whatever next an
emergency requisition of a cocoa urn for each practice so that on Christmas Eve
the GPs can go out dressed as Santa on a sleigh pulled by reindeer to deliver a
warm cup of cocoa to each of their patients at home to keep them all out of
hospital over the 4 day Christmas break?
Good
idea I’ll email that one out at 17.00 on Xmas Eve just to check the idle
buggers are still at work . . .
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