NHS lies never heard by any GP ever 001: I never have a home visit.

One of the great things about a free at the point of abuse healthcare system is that it is free at the point of abuse and the only thing you have to do to access free healthcare in the UK is lie.

So take the NHS socialized medicine’s free at the point of abuse GP home visiting system. Need a home visit, can’t be arsed to go to a GP's surgery? It’s FREE just ring, lie and get one.

I can’t get out of my home – but you go to the hairdresser to get your naff purple rinse?

I need a home visit I have just come back from a week in my caravan (transport to coastal trailer parks for those in the UK is of course provided by the local ambulance service for free together with state benefits to fund these trailers incredibly common on the coasts both west and east south of the Wall).

The doctor at the hospital I went to see this morning at an outpatient clinic said I needed a home visit urgently. Completely appropriate given your immobility to go to an outpatient appointment under your own steam and how you managed to get back from there under your own steam we will never know such is the selfless lying of your average NHS patient and yet the subsequent letter does not support their assertion (lie). We do ring and check were possible in these cases.

These are but a few of the  requests that GPs get for home visits and the usual requester of home visits is usually old, miserable, lonely and female (they live longer before you start and maybe possibly or rarely are more infirmed as a result of longevity but more commonly are dementing and lonely). They have peed their families of so much that their families have moved elsewhere and no longer care because they do not have to since the so called nuclear family imploded in the past few decades and the great British populus still believes in totally free cradle to grave care (not) from the NHS. Will the doctor go and wipe Granny's bottom as I am in a meeting and the carer is of sick?

Or by family who have only spoken on the phone to their (allegedly ill) family member whom they have had enough of them and they never actually see which is part of the problem. Granny moans what do I do? Ring a GP and “request” a home visit. Such patients need to be in nursing homes which cost (a family dear) but home visits for crap by GPs are completely free.

Other misusers of GP home visits are the pathetically inadequate members of society you know the ones who will ring their surgery 15 times a day, dial 999 and consult a moron via NHS 111 as many times a day too. Why can patients do this? 

Because they can! 

The NHS is completely free at the point of abuse and despite socialized education for the past few decades GPs and their staff have to deal with this (***p) free at the point of alleged need (abuse) daily. Anyone hear Bevin spinning in his grave for someone informed us that he is once said to have said that they (NHS patients) were too lazy to wash their own medicine bottles and return them to pharmacies for reuse once everything was free?

The other major source of completely unnecessary home visits is nursing and residential homes where so called healthcare “professionals” need GPs to see things that rarely if ever need treatment but GPs are there to just cover their own limited professional incompetency. 

“Doctor, you can’t be too careful with someone who is already dead but we have to preserve our source of income for how else can we 20 stone and 5 foot nothing carers – pass me another éclair Chantelle love while the doctor refuses to write a prescription and I document this in our client’s notes. The eclairs have to be eaten by someone the patients don’t touch them and we are too busy to pick them up to feed them because we are stressed and me doctor won’t give me Orlistat to help me with my weight is that another one spare Chantelle, love your new tattoo, pass it me luv . . ." 

But when you visit any patient in any Grim Reaper’s departure lounge and someone asks in the background “Who’s that?” what do you hear when a caring staff member says “It’s a doctor”?

You then hear shrieks from the other demented residents of “Doctor, nurse help me! I need to see you.” you realize: 

1) how much healthcare is valued in the UK by dements 

and

2) how little it is valued when dements hear the word doctor and start shouting for something they do not need, value, understand or have to pay for. It is just there for the taking regardless.

No different to the day job then. "Doctor I need a home visit . . .*

Praise be to the Party for ensuring that one of the most expensive and labour intensive services a society can provide to its citizens is freely available at the point of abuse even in your own home, whatever.

*. . . my plane lands in ten hours time and it is a three hour drive back from the airport I would have seen a doctor here but I would have to pay to do so and you will be shut when I drive past your surgery on my way home."