You know you have a Broadband problem when:

ND although artistic by nature still appreciates the use of broadband technology and we are lucky enough to be able to avoid it for most of our working lives for example when in surgery.

ND is equally unlucky enough to use NHS broadband whose speeds rarely exceed dial up connections but then this must be because ND is in the North and miles from London where the NHS exchange is and we all know the further from the exchange you are the slower the speed is (according to the multitude of engineers who cannot fix the problem of speed but are getting paid to do nothing at our expense).

Whilst Patricia Hewitt and many other Party members are profiting from the crap NHS broadband system ND uses it daily to tell us when there is a problem at home. It is one of NDs’ laws:

It states that when your home broadband is slower than your NHS N3 connection speed you have a major problem.

Praise be to the Party and their ever wise and profitable excursion into IT. By providing so much to so few at huge costs to everyone bar themselves they have denied most to those that might be able to use it.