One of the team did an extra Gordon shift (subtract the f from the word after Gordon to understand what this actually means, and what he meant, to GPs, their staff and their families in the UK) this evening and we were once again overwhelmed by how many people turned up.
Combine this non attendance of patients ,with Za Nu Labour’s Sovietization of healthcare which dictated that all patients needed a ten minute centrally controlled and dictated appointments when in fact many only require two, it meant that what would have taken less than 45 minutes tops to achieve if GPs, as professionals working at their own time and speed, had dictated the pace rather than sitting around doing nothing for most of two hours.
Still while hanging around doing nothing medically useful we did think what could we as caring overpaid medical professionals being doing as we sat idle?
We thought perhaps we would be better off at home beating the kids and sending them up a few chimneys for it has been cold in Northernshire this winter and chimneys need to be swept? That would be a few more pounds of petrol for the Ferrari. We could feed the ferrets and whippets and when the animals had been fed the kids could have the leftovers for they would be warm but hungry after doing some homework.
We could be having a quick pint of Southern Comfort followed by a beer chaser of Old Scroty Grunge bitter, 98% by volume, to ease it down before asking ones butler to ease the Ferrari home to its nocturnal roost as all overpaid, underworked GPs do in the evening according to certain media sectors.
Our hearts felt heavy as we read the comments afterwards for weep all ye good GPs for if there is no money for extended hours how will we as dedicated GPs be able to cope with not fulfilling this Gordon determined (alleged) need?
For we do remember that Gordon, the man who saved the world, did ignore a hugely expensive survey of patients that his Party had paid for which said that 85% of patients were happy with GP hours and use a much smaller survey to impose extra hours for no extra pay. He was all wise in all things to do with healthcare for he had spent so many more years doing (something to) it than our humble healthcare assistants in their 20s have in their short NHS careers.
(Note to Ed something in that last sentence might not quite be right but we are not Scottish enough to see what it is.)
The article says that if funding was to be removed “GPs would be left with the unenviable choice of either stopping offering patients evening and weekend surgeries, or continuing to run shifts without additional resources”.
Well given the overwhelming demand that Gordon had decreed this evening, and the deafening sound of patients banging on the doors demanding to be seen, “the unenviable choice” of sitting doing nothing in an empty consulting room or swigging another pint of Old Scroty Grunge was not going to be one that this grunt would have any difficulty making.
Praise be to the Party for even considering this option. Any guesses what will happen?
Pull the funding, “consult” with the profession and make it part of a “newer” contract? Simples.
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Northern Doc was once a blog originally written by a group of GPs in Northernshire and expressed their experiences and frustrations of working in today's NHS. The pieces were compiled at social meetings after work and published anonymously in a once free society. Following the Government's Medical Council clamp down on freedom of thought, speech and expression by doctors and our belief that the views of a few doctors DO NOT represent the views of the profession as a whole their views will now be written by and published by a journalist who has previously contributed to the blog by virtue of social ties. Any inference that the word Doc means a doctor is now purely coincidental. This is as of the 22 April 2013.