Helf and safety and a few erratic Christmas musings.

For those of us here at ND Central old enough to remember the use of candles with which we used to do our homework in the 1970s powercuts is nothing new. What is new is what we found atop a candle bought from a local shopping establishment which beggars believe (see above).

This is similar to our doctors in training who are now asking us 2 years after they qualified to certify the fact that they can put IV cannulas in something which we in General Practice do once in a blue moon. Apparantly in hospitals only registrar grades, which apparantly now includes GP Principals, can do this because under the new eportfolio fellow doctors in training in the same year as they were are certifying their peers in training making a mockery of the new online e-retardation portfolio as a means of proving competence.

If you have not seen a doctor in training do a IV cannulation how can you in all honesty say they are competant? By implication having done a year’s plus worth of house jobs, sorry comrades foundation year 1 (F1 jobs), they should be but I suspect Mrs Jones the vicar’s wife would be a bit miffed if we asked her to allow our F2 doctors to cannulate her when she merely comes in for a repeat hormone replacement prescription so we can sign them up.

Still their fellow juniors can and no doubt such probity issues will be swooped upon at their next appraisals (not). The GMC and Deaneries can’t have F2 doctors signed up for cannulation skills in hospitals when they will be doing it many times a day it would make a mockery of revalidation. We'll do it instead in GP placements.

So we will have to consider whether we can at ND Central light a candle for Yuletide in our own homes for we must surely have to conduct a risk assessment and ensure all the proper safety equipment is in place? Fire proof gloves, eye goggles, fire retardant clothing, a selection of fire extinguishers, a first aider, a fire safety officer, a fenced off exclusion zone, a fire access and assembly point all for one little decorative candle on top of a Christmas cake.

We are so thankful to all our patients who at one surgery have bought Yuletide joy to all of us by nicking from the surgery the empty cardboard boxes wrapped up to replicate presents under an illuminated (risk assessed) Xmas tree now mercifully free of its once proud baubles to bring some festive joy which no doubt have found a new alternative happy home for Xmas.

Given last year’s zero attendance at a Xmas Eve surgery we are sure that our ever appreciative patients’ health will be being looked by caring publicans as they engage in healthy self care by getting rat faced before smashing up our Police officers’ in the spirit of universal love and joy that is Christmas in some parts of Northernshire.

On Christmas Day we are sure they we partake of the 8000 calorie Xmas workout and that is just the chocolate in their kids’ Christmas’ stockings. Spare a thought for their little canine chums who no doubt will pig out on the copious quantites of uneaten and wasted food. Our veterinary colleagues tell us that pancreatitis due to over ingestion of fatty food by middle aged dogs goes up at Christmas big time.

We hope that all of you who have been kind enough to read our little thoughts from Northernshire this year have enjoyed some of them and we thank those of you kind enough to have spared the time to post a comment or two. We hope that you will all enjoy a happy safe and healthy festive Christmas and the same in the New Year.

Contrary to popular belief the NHS and GPs are still open and availible for business day and night something that many patients found surprising today when told of this by King Herod their GP as they bought their little cherubs in for a pre Xmas check to ensure they would not interupt their Mummie’s or Daddie’s own 8000 calorie Xmasfest by being ill. We are sure they are plenty of in laws that can do that without any angelic little helpers.

Enjoy and be careful out there!

Praise be to the Party for creating Christmas and all its trimmings. Can’t wait for the sales rush on the 26th and our on little post festive rush on the 28th. Watch those candles carefully and remember to follow all the instructions on them to the letter.