It will only take 5 minutes or I will be there in just 5 minutes.
One of the great things
about the United Kingdom is that since the 1944 Education Act there has been
universal state funded secondary education for all. Many including some of the
teams' families here at ND Central have benefited from this as we could never
ever have gone to University or medical school without it.
Unfortunately while a few
have benefited from this benevolent example of state sponsored improvement which
is slowly sinking beyond the horizons of any born into similar circumstances to
ours today there has emerged an uber class of those who have missed the
benefits of free education namely simple things like being able to read and
write and most often the ability to tell the time.
with teacher in primary school about the big hand and the little hand? And when
you went to big school struggling with the 24-hour clock?
Well in general practice
most people know what the time is. They wear watches, have computers that
display the time and may even have Smartphones so they know what time is.
Unfortunately patients, despite the same free education that we have had do not
understand the space-time continuum. Take for example the following gambits:
I need to see the doctor it
will only take 5 minutes
I need this form filling in
it will only take 5 minutes
I need this medical doing
it will only take 5 minutes
I need to see a nurse it
will only take 5 minutes.
We are sure that anyone
working in general practice can supply a variety of examples of "it will
only take 5 minutes". If all of these requests did just take 5 minutes we
would all be on a three hour working day, 3 days a week tops.
The worst of all the
"it will just take 5 minutes" are the parents of allegedly ill
children who always demand emergency appointments towards the end of an evening
surgery saying "I will be there in just 5 minutes".
Geographically they should be there in less than 3 minutes and they are always told to come straight down.
So the GP waits and waits
and the surgery shuts and there is a no show.
Has the child actually been
ill and had to go to A&E? No we check.
If you are a conscinctious
GP you might consider doing a home visit or ringing the parents but there is
never any answer.
The "I will be
there in 5 minutes" have clearly found something better to do with
their gnat like existence and attention span and no doubt will be asking others
for a mere five minutes of their time for something that "will only take 5
Praise be to the Party for
ensuring that despite almost 70 years after the introduction of free state
education most patients are so well educated that they can't tell the time but
they do know how to waste other's time that they don't pay for instead. Time and time again.
Contact Northern Doc:
Northern Doc was once a blog originally written by a group of GPs in Northernshire and expressed their experiences and frustrations of working in today's NHS. The pieces were compiled at social meetings after work and published anonymously in a once free society. Following the Government's Medical Council clamp down on freedom of thought, speech and expression by doctors and our belief that the views of a few doctors DO NOT represent the views of the profession as a whole their views will now be written by and published by a journalist who has previously contributed to the blog by virtue of social ties. Any inference that the word Doc means a doctor is now purely coincidental. This is as of the 22 April 2013.