Sunday, 1 July 2012

CQC Watch - the absurdity of bureaucratic regulation.

The Party loves to control and nowhere is that more obvious than with the CQC (Care Quality Commission) whose current leader is a failure as he comes from the same background as its former great leader Cynthia “1200 deaths did not register on my radar” Bower in social services. If you did not go to a Northernshire comprehensive school you will not be aware that in order to be a social worker you have to be in the same bottom third of such a school that they recruit NHS managers from.

So dentists and now doctors are to be inspected by a retarded bureaucracy that is itself under performing in order to bring standards down to their retarded level. Such professionals in order to make the grade are usually examined by people far better qualified than they are. A simple example of how retarded centralized bureaucracy was bought home to one of the team who recalled a conversation from many months ago from a victim of a CQC inspection who did not lie down and say I am wrong you are right. So look at the image above.

This was taken by one of the team on a holiday at a remote outpost somewhere in Northernshire’s vast hinterlands. Now if you showed that to a retarded CQC inspector you would probably follow your own gut reaction which is that is disgustingly dirty throw it away NO-ONE could drink any water out of that kettle and live. Now if your holiday accommodation was inspected by a retard unaware of local circumstances you would expect them to fail it based on such “evidence“ and a moronic tick box mentality.

However if you think beyond the amoeba brain size of the average tick box this kettle’s appearance might be impossible to avoid. Large areas of the UK are covered by moor land with a peaty soil. Large areas of the UK do not have mains water and so other sources are utilized for example springs or water taken from streams which flow off peat moor land.

The water may be microbiologically pure but will contain small fragments of peat - think what happens if you garden and split peat- which even though the water is filtered will be present in the water. A lot of people have slightly brown coloured water which is safe to drink and we have even stayed in places where the water has been blue but in both cases was completely safe to drink.

If you repeatedly heat water in a kettle in the same way that lime scale forms in hard water areas you will over time get a coating hence the picture above. Not harmful to health but not nice to look at.

Now back to CQC retardation. We spoke to a doctor in training who was present during a CQC inspection which had failed their ward. The reason? Not crap medical care but the CQC botmoron found that there were clean urine bottles placed on the bedside tables of elderly male patients which they also ate off. Disgusting you may say so the hospital management removed them.

The result? Not a massive drop in infection rates as a result of removing  the clean bottles but a massive increase in the need to wash bed linen and pyjamas, clean floors all essential requirements of a CQC “approved” ward which pulls staff away from real patient care to tick a botmoron’s box. Add in  relatives complaining about patients, sorry their relatives, sorry CQC clients, who had previously been dry sitting in pools of urine and wet clothing and think how much time can be wasted by a botmoron.

All this was the result of a CQC inspection which no doubt improved the “quality” of the “care” provided. After all the boxes had now been ticked and as a result of an “inspection” and a hefty fee (page 3) onwards for the privilege of a botmorons’ visit.

According  to the junior doctor to whom we spoke after a lot of aggravation the urine bottles were reinstated. And all of the care “improvements“ which resulted in the increase in “quality “of “care” which were dictated by the botmoron CQC inspectors disappeared.

Now why might that be so? Well remember the top of the tree at the CQC is a social worker and they are in the bottom third of the UK in terms of academic ability. Their inspectors won’t be as bright and so they could not put 2 and 2 together to make four while holding their best crayon they just looked at the box and found it wanting so they signed with their usual signature a great big X. and they felt epic!

The bottles were on the tables because this was a geriatric ward full of frail old men who could only walk slowly to the centralized toilets 2 four bedded ward bays away for there were not enough staff there to help them. Coupled with the prostate problems they would have they need to go frequently and with urgency but could not make the toilet in time. Hence the positioning of the bottles.

Praise be to the Party for ensuring that whenever you want to improve “care” and “quality” you employ a social worker to bring us all down to their high standards.

This might be the start of a little series of CQC watches as it is such a fit agency for purpose is it not? Just watch the news as it tries to justify its existence but scratch below the stories and it is very different.

No Care no Quality just another Commissariat YOPS scheme for those who have always failed and that started when they were at school, in their first jobs which led them to NHS management and where they are today.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I don't think that social workers are generally in the bottom third. I think they are generally of above average academic intelligence. However, that doesn't guarantee them common sense. In fact, I've encountered some extremely intelligent and educated doctors who lacked common sense.

By all means tell us when people do absurd things, but please don't use it as an excuse to trash a whole profession.

(And no, I'm not a social worker and I'm fully aware that there are plenty of rubbish ones just as there are plenty of rubbish practitioners of any profession or trade.)