Friday, 8 March 2013

Did you know you CAN change the NHS? Here's how.

We have said before that the Party likes to control for in its infinite retardation about matters healthcare it always knows best. A recent use of a computer at ND Central which we rarely use allowed us access to the local Soviet's intranet home page.
You can take it as read that most at ND Central displaced this home page with something a little more up to date and useful like Google centuries ago but this was recycled crap via NHS IT support for a breakdown. However our chance misuse of its illicit homepage caused us to find a link to this a little gem which our naturally curious minds did proceed to explore.

Yes as President Obama said in the land of the free change is a coming and look at this website to see where in the NHS this is a coming from. If you wait long enough you might even get to read some pledges to date or do as we did and watch the little continuous rotating spokes go round and round and round. No taxpayers' money will have been spent or more likely spared on this little gem. It is clearly a worker sponsored out pouring of collaborative joy over the current NHS a la North Korea.
If you wait long enough you will see how many people in the NHS have so little to do at work that they have made a pledge but can you read them? The wheel is still going round and round and round. If you want to make NHS efficiency savings find each person who has so much time on their hands they can make a pledge rather than treat a patient and sack them?

Move your mouse down to bottom of the page and over the supporters of NHS change day and see how many have very similar surnames. Click on the view all section to see all and what do you get. You must be logged on to access that page. So clearly NHS Change Day is a grass roots all inclusive "change" day. Still you can marvel at the blue logo about the NHS change model.
Move down this page and tremble with excitement for this can be used to further your CPD (Continuing Professional Development) the current Soviet thought Police way of dictating medical practice via retardation or Continuing Professional Retardation (CPR as we call it) as you can see here. Click further to advance your knowledge here. (Link may or may not work if it does struggle to read the blue text telling you how.)
Clearly the new twitterati are the new intellectuals of British medicine via their CPR. So now tweet, read the chat, "reflect" on it and tweet it which means you as a doctor can pass appraisal. Excellent medical retardation. But what if you don't tweet? Will Niall send the boys round?
Or should we now just tweet "had my Nialls done and they look wicked", follow the subsequent chat, reflect on it and pass appraisal on the basis of tweeting? That should advance our knowledge of mitochondrial DNA related diseases by several centuries and mean we will continue to be up to date via CPR and Twitter.
When we tried to access this site at work we got repeated messages that we were allowing our secure NHS computer dinosaur access to a secure NHS website which meant that when we went to this page  the sentence on this page under the heading "Whose idea?" (a very good question not convincingly answered) that reads on a real computer as:
"One innovative suggestion can lead to a new way of thinking which could transform the way we work"
actually and repeatedly read as:
"which could transform the way we wo".
Is that short for woo for this site was full of it?
Praise be to the Party for its consistency in regarding the NHS as merely the provision of websites, call centres and now pledges as opposed to providing real time frontline healthcare. Anyone asked who actually benefits from such websites other than broom cupboards?


1 comment:

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