Sunday, 22 May 2016

All hands to the pump!

There are numerous films where a ship gets holed and starts taking on water which seems to ensure that all the heroes and heroines, all actors, will drown under the weight of incoming water (work) miles away from help (rescue).
So imagine our relief (despair) at the news this week that a report commissioned by NHS England has stopped the influx of water in an instant into the gaping hole of no manpower or funding to sustain the RMS NHS Titanic (General Practice sub commissariat).
Balance this against another report saying that the influx of water has increased as has the size of the hole and we are sure that the current captains of the NHS are listening to the orchestra playing while supping vodka and caviar on the quarterdeck fully expecting those less qualified than doctors to take a thimble into the water filled hole stand waist deep in the water and throw the thimbles of water over their shoulders in order to keep the NHS afloat.
Of course after many vodkas they will not realize that those with thimbles have been deployed from some areas of shortages while others are from areas of excess which once again leaves the ship unbalanced and with a hole to plug and no plan with which to do so.
Praise be to the Party for ignoring a problem for years and hoping that lots of sticking plasters will repair the gaping hole into which increasing quantities of water do daily flow freely into. Still by jingo a good report from numpties is just as good as a solid steel plate over a gaping hole to keep the water out and far cheaper than having a steel industry to make such a plate and the steel with which to make it.

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