Baubles, beads and trinkets the new Manhattan deal for general practice.

There are some real morons at present who are medical “leaders” and false “professors” as can be seen by this latest announcement from a certain Royal “College”.

Now if you were a GP wanting to return to practice what would you want to tempt you back?

1) Not having to pay a minimum of just under £ 11,000 a year for basic medical defence insurance? Of course not patients are far more important.

2) A highly paid stress free job, free of the NHS institutionalized bureaucracy one of the reasons you left in the first place whereby seeing and treating patients was (once) an option and the reason you became a doctor in contrast to today’s box ticking for bureautards fully supported by a certain Royal “College”?

Of course not, comrades, reflection is far more important than treating patients it achieves bugger all (for patients) other than ticking another box for retards. 

3) A job with reduced workload (most GPs leave because of workload) and the opportunity to see real illness in contrast to socialized inadequacy?

Of course not comrades completing an e-portfolio each year is far more rewarding and important and so by adding to workload it merely reduces your stress after seeing the odd patient who may, or more likely not, have anything wrong with them but the RCGP does not do illness.

4) No annual appraisal or any other such crap (all for the benefit of the Party and its bum chums at the GMC et al)?

All of which are but some of the (many) reasons why you left as a GP in the first place.

So if a Scottish womble says ah way hin, that must be terrible, I feel your pain and while I am here can I explore your Ideas, Concerns and Expectations of why you wish to return (not) to practice and do absolutely nothing about your problems after pretending to listen while appearing concerned and then goes on to say I think I can help, would you like a free year’s membership of the RCGP as there is a loads of evidence of its benefits together with that of  crystal healing, quantumtouch and homeopathy? 

We suspect that most GP (even) thinking of a return to practice (after 20 pints of Old Scroty Grundge and a serious head injury) would view this in the same way as someone asking you to come and see some puppies. 

Most GPs of a certain age who actually had the option of joining said Royal “College” would think and would once have known the true meaning of the word to “ice” someone.

Currently membership of this alleged “college” is compulsory as they are the Party groomers of GPs to be to fix social not medical problems and as such the “College” has a degree of (political) impotence but most GP registrars are bright enough to realize that its methods are so flawed that they are retarded (sic the e-portfolio, reflection et al) although its alleged “leaders” think otherwise.

GP registrars also know that such reflections can screw them more than their trainers do now but none at the RCGP can see this for most believe that the sun revolves around something dark called reflection which is essentially the art of self colonoscopy with the light switched off and then saying I can see everything more clearly now to your trainer or appraiser.

So if this is aimed at GPs who have left general practice and maybe older ones we are sure that those proposing it on high think that GPs can still be bought by baubles, beads and trinkets from the RCGP when schemes offering tens of thousands of pounds have failed to attract GPs to general practice posts. 

The war on the lack of GP recruitment will, comrades, be over by Christmas by this simple, innovative intervention of the RCGP for less than the cost of a First World War rifle (Lee Enfield) today by provision of up to £ 519 of RCGP membership will mean that GPs not currently in practice will like lemmings be flooding back soon in droves to return to work.

Clearly many hours of institutionalized retardation at the Royal “College” will have led to this earth shattering idea and we are sure that they will reflect at length on its success when it achieves absolutely nothing useful like a GP returning to work. Their e-protfolio will be full of brown stuff with which to discuss with and impress their appraiser. 

The muppets retaking Manhattan perhaps by a “New Deal”? You can see Jeremy’s smile now as he knows he will meet his 5000 new GP target thanks to his friends . . . 

Praise be to the Party for understanding why no-one wants to be a GP and thinking that baubles, beads and trinkets are the answer. And that is just those that claim to represent the profession that they do not understand.