Christmas, car parks and roads.

Once again it is Christmas Eve and for the whole year the world has hated and abused mankind relentlessly and for some reason this has happened too in Northernshire GP land where the demand for urgent consults for trivia and crap continues unabated and exponentially and ingratitude and joy towards all NHS staff is now endemic and normal all year round. 

A sore throat for 30 minutes, a temperature for a couple of hours or a cough since the morning when you woke up and then told reception staff to f**k off and die at 11:00 are rarely if ever emergencies as is the classic itchy scrot for months urgent consult.

But for the nonpaying NHS punter these are all EMERGENCIES that can only be eased by an urgent medical consult that anywhere else in the world would cost them dear but in the UK is completely free at the point of abuse with no come back whatsoever.

What was different was this observation regarding the car park and one of the main roads into Shiteton that transverses the car park entrance at ND Central. Normally the surgery car park is full of parking wars as the well duff up their fellow patients and damage their cars in their frantic efforts to get free healthcare for trivia and the main road runs freely but today both the car park and surgeries were half empty and yet the main road was full of standing traffic.

How come?

Because it is Christmas. Ahh lovely baby Jesus peace, love  and joy to the world.

For one day of the year the NHS is not the raison d’etre for the socially and educationally inadequate who will happily part with their cash for seasonal trinkets and happily queue on the roads for the privilege to do so and completely ignore the surgery and its car park in contrast to the rest of the year.

So if you are genuinely ill over the festive period good luck for your first port of call will now be NHS dumb, dumb, dumb whose highly trained comprehensive school failures operate a binary healthcare system whereby illness is based on a toss a coin option based on a moron and an NHS computer algorithm which decides either to let you see a GP urgent option (for trivia) or will advise A&E or send an ambulance to you ASAP (for any trivia you want).

Or not which is the more worrying option for the truly ill.

Praise be to the Party for providing healthcare for the truly inadequate at the expense of the genuinely ill who will have no chance over the festive period. Socialized medicine rocks as trivia top trumps genuine illness time and time again with full Party support. Stay lucky ill people dudes it’s Christmas!