Ebola watch 001.

One of the curses of being part of a scientifically trained team with a memory, longer than the Party’s is, who recalls previous scare stories like AIDS (Acquired Immunodeficiency Disease Syndrome) which was the gay plague of San Francisco with homosexuals having sex with 8 lovers a day every day that was followed by the isolation of the HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus) and the fact that it then became a sub Saharan African problem which then became a worldwide problem is the fact that no-one gets a handle on any disease in its early stages.

And Governments and media assume that by panic and large pieces of rock they can solve the problem.

More recently think about the Party’s half-hearted and laughable attempts to control the swine flu panicdemic using the science of the Great Plague. In the same way the Party is now repeating the process and can you guess who will bear the brunt of the forthcoming panic as we did with swine flu?

This week we are informed that airports (but only one) will be “screening” for Ebola although the details are sketchy. We very much doubt it will be by healthcare professionals with any experience of the disease more like a jobsworth.

Taking the patients temperature at an airport to screen for Ebola is like asking NHS 111 to determine if a patient is ill by a telephone call. A guess at best a waste of time most of the time. The case of Ebola that entered the USA thus far was asymptomatic when they left the country where they acquired their infection and so would not have been picked up by “screening” or NHS dumb, dumb, dumb who would always insist that any patient calling them is seen by a GP within insert random number of hours. 

But dear reader what has the Party done? It has employed NHS dumb, dumb, dumb who admittedly will have had 6 weeks training in contrast to those on the swine flu panic line who only had 2 weeks training to screen those with high temperatures and respiratory symptoms. High temperatures and respiratory symptoms account for about half of those attending same day appointments in general practice at present. It is after the "flu doc" not a minor very common viral upper respiratory tract infection. 

Still the addition of an “enhanced” question like have you been to the West coast somewhere like Morecambe or Blackpool will enable the panic line to dispatch fewer ambulances or demand less see GP within X hours than usual (not). 

This is no different to the Great Plague mentality of schools in the UK who immediately isolate any child with a rash called chickenpox to avoid infecting other children completely oblivious to the fact that the child has been infectious for days before the spots appear and what’s more with no or minimal symptoms whatsoever. 

But we would like to reassure the Public that the NHS is still the best prepared country in the world to deal with Ebola in the same way that it was for the swine flu panicdemic. The NHS is also probably the best lager in the world and after discussing this with some consultants over the past few days not one of us has yet received a MOPP suit. 

So once again Britain’s best defense against a viral infection is luck, a pair of rubber gloves, some antiseptic hand gel and a paint sprayer’s mask from the last flu panicdemic 5 years ago and of course don’t panic Mr. Hunt. 

And did we mention this poster (slow to load)? 

That will keep Johnny Ebola away from our shores and surgeries if nothing else will won’t it?

Praise be to the Party for once again saying that the NHS is probably the best prepared country to combat Ebola and crossing its fingers while doing so for it has done nothing more than send a few emails to prepare those in primary care thus far.

Wonderful to be this prepared so early in the game. Now where is great granddad’s tin hat and Somme gas mask . . .?

Care.data oops the Party does it one more time.

A while back we posted on the failure of care.data. the Party’s give away of your personal health data to the private sector for a small consideration and how they were having second thoughts. Well look who has come up with this idea following the complete shambles earlier. 

Can you guess who dear reader? Go on have a go no-one other than the morons who got it wrong in the first place with their mailshot that for many did not happen.

So who are they are tasking to correct their cock up? An elite team of highly trained senior NHS managers who can write patients’ addresses onto envelopes, fold a letter up and put it into an envelope, seal the envelope, put a stamp on it and then find a red post box into which to put the envelope so that it will be transported on a magic carpet to tell all the millions of patients they forgot to tell last time? Well that will be enough for a whole day’s work but just for completeness they will have to do this for every patient in the UK.

Of course not there are few in NHS senior management that are that bright so they have decided to delegate it to those with far less to do than they have.

And who are those sitting around doing less than NHS managers all day? None other than GPs and their staff. Now would you rather that GPs and their staff spent their time seeing and treating patients or that they and their staff do what NHS managers would struggle to achieve on their own?

Remember dear reader that those who embark on career in NHS management are at best in the bottom third of your average Northernshire comprehensive school and our sorties into the Dark Lord’s realm make us doubt they could reach even this level of ability.

As care.data and this latest twist in the story shows.

Praise be to the Party for coming up with an idea that undermines one of the central principles of medical practice that of confidentiality and asking GPs to pimp their patients’ data for the Party’s profit.

Things are on the up! Go get some!

The resistance noticed a little item in Pulse magazine which might bring a little smile to some peoples’ faces (you dirty little buggers). Initially we did not post as it was only from the one source but when we saw this in the Party’s main organ of medical disinformation we knew it to be true.

This decision makes a complete mockery of the socialized medicine approach of allowing NICE and the Department of Health to approve, or not approve, a drug based on a purely medico-political-economic pseudo-scientific approach rather than a much simpler if a drug works ,and it causes no major harm, use it scientific basis. 

The two dear reader are mutually exclusive for if the science says it works and the politician says it does not then guess who wins? Think Galileo but this about face is slightly quicker than the latter’s postmortem apology was but the principle of institutionalized retardation is still the same all these 16 (350) years later. 

Viagra (sildenafil) before it came off patent cost around about £ 7.00 a tablet and if you use the Party’s bonk experts, those with short sight, limited hearing and very hairy palms and exceedingly NICE people with high morals like all MPs who fiddled their expenses their view (comrades) is that these (dirty little buggers) should not be having sex for free anyway (as they aren’t claiming it on expenses as entertainment allegedly).

The Party as the guardian of pubic morals felt they had to restrict the use of Viagra to certain limited groups of worthy dirty little buggers rather than release an uncontrollable surge of public fornication if all its citizens could access the spawn of Beelzebub known as cGMP-specific phosphodisterase type 5 (PDE5) the first of which was Viagra.

Therefore, the Party’s experts (stooges), in true Soviet style concluded that comrade patients only at best bonk once a week which means a massive bonkathon expenditure of 52 times £ 7 or roughly £ 364 per patient to service your average erectilely impaired bonkaholic (dirty little bugger) a year.

The Party’s limp pseudo-scientific organ NICE reckons that it needs to spend £ 30,000 a life saved for a drug to be cost effective (or even work to save a life which often it doesn’t in the case of terminal cancer) but still the NICE Party organ feels that wasting up to £ 30,000 a year per patient is a better use of public money than a few blue pills that for the same price might make 82 dirty little buggers happier every week of a year (at a mere £ 7.00 a smile for your average private bonkaholic NHS patient) and could do so for several years for £ 30,000 a year (dirty little buggers) if they pay for it. 

Disgusting we should pay for cancer drugs . . . say the moral minority even if it is cervical cancer which is now thought to be sexually transmitted which is why the Party is vaccinating (on the cheap) the next generation of dirty little buggers but only the female ones (and not using the best science only what NICE people tell them) for the Party of safe sex only want it on the cheap. Did we mention that treatment for sexually transmitted diseases including AIDs/HIV infection is usually free but if you have erectile dysfunction (ED) you will have to pay to get your disease in the first place as sexually transmitted diseases increase in the elderly i.e. those not in their 20s? 

We are not talking lives’ saved here, or more likely just prolonged, we are talking what the Parties of socialized medicine have refused all their patients unless they pay for it something called fun or pleasure.

Amazingly the licit use of drugs like Viagra may, in very, very, very rare instances only, cause more than one person to have some “fun”, but comrades that is only for those of you who are really dirty little buggers.

The licit use of Viagra is never enjoyed by patients (on their own) who are happily married who suddenly discover a change in parts of their life that they enjoyed and still enjoy as they get older but don’t seem to work as well. Viagra is only ever used by dirty little buggers. The urge may still be there (dirty little buggers) but the mechanics of aging may prevent it from functioning or not allow it to function as well as it used to when couples are free from children and fear of conception.

One half of the equation can get their HRT for free to allow them to “carry on” (note to readers this is an expression from the North East of England relating to matters sexual) but until now the other half were not allowed to play (for free even with their legally wedded spouses of decades).

If their eye sight fails (dirty little buggers) their cataracts are done for free so they can see their loved one once again but seeing is not always doing.

If your hip gets stiff and you limp you can have an £ 8,000 hip replacement. If you can’t get stiff and then become limp then the Party cannot for reasons best known to the moral minority with the hairy palms and short sight get you a £ 7.00 relief job from your limping for that is not a worthwhile “treatment” to the NICE moral minority for a hip replacement’s worth of Viagra would stop you limping at £ 7 a tablet a week for 22 years and at new prices for 460 years. Using NICE logic of £ 30,000 a life to save it would keep any dirty little buggers who live this long happy for 1724 years.

Even if you and your legally wedded spouse have paid your taxes and National Insurance for years you cannot have the blue pills on the NHS (vicar) to put smiles on your faces until now (you dirty little buggers). 

If you have a drug that works, improves peoples’ quality of life then surely approve it especially if people get better while using it and enjoy it as well (dirty little buggers)?

But hang on comrades is the Party being entirely generous here?

Whereas previously the cost for the drug was around £ 7.00 a tablet if it drops to £ 1.45 for a 4 tablet pack then is the Party quids in too? This change allows the opportunity for the Party to increase income for its self-determined expenses and pay rises as it pimps its previously proscribed drug. (Think smug faced Jeremy Hunt smiling here with a shiny yellow halo arms outstretched saying look what I have done for you). 

The minority that the Party discriminate against in the United Kingdom, the 10% of the English who now have the privilege of paying £ 8.05 for a 4 pack worth of £ 1.45 for 4 tablets, will now have the benefit of paying over the odds for what the Party previously felt that they were only worthy of receiving from the private sector at £ 7.00 a bonk (dirty little buggers). 

Another clear example of how the free market works in the NHS. 

Restrict a drug that works and deny it to those who can benefit from it on the grounds of moral indignation (hypocrisy) and then when the costs drop to pence from pounds shaft the NHS patient some more by charging over what it actually costs.

Praise be to the Party for finally seeing sense years after prejudice clouded their limited ability to do so in the first place. Thank goodness that those who saw (and found?) weapons of mass destruction also saw the huge damage that uncontrolled erect organs could inflict on the United Kingdom and as a result denied a drug that worked on the most spurious hypocritical moral grounds in history.