Wednesday, 19 November 2008

NHS Announces the Biggest email spam experiment in the history of the Internet - Behold the “Communicator”.

"Its email Jim but not as we know it"

One of NDs’ number has been off for a trip across the pond and indulged in some fine R&R events like putting a few rounds into pictures of NHS administrators and returned to find in their in tray an article on the latest NHS improvement to NHS GP access. The source is the Pulse magazine link is here:

Of course none of the idiots that run the NHS realize that the basic problem with access is that we don’t have enough Drs (because they cost) but ideas are cheap so they are full of them along with certain brown smelly stuff that does not help patients and is best sent down to the local sewerage works which does more for public health than any NHS manager can ever do.

The NHS communicator is another wonderful idea from the Connecting for Health team who clearly are building on the other “successes” of the NHS IT system. A lot of the ND team gave up using NHS email over 18 months ago when following an “upgrade” the whole local system crashed and needed to be reconfigured for those sad enough to use it. The team has managed without NHS email for this long because it has acted as a huge spam magnet.

Now this is not the spam of various individuals offering cut price Viagra or counterfeiters or fraudsters it was the spam of NHS management. No longer do we have to log on and wait for up to 5 minutes a day to access the system before having to then down load spam city Arizona of crap like “Matron X will not be into work as she is having her legs waxed but will be available tomorrow but in the mean time contact her 15 deputies” all of whom then send messages saying that they will not be available and so contact the following. All of these messages were carbon copied (cc) to the deputies and then sent to everyone on Northernshire Politburo’s address book -sometimes 5 times. One of NDs’ new team members was given a new NHS email account and had 2500 messages on it immediately and this was all just from NHS staff.

So the new communicator will allow greater access to GPs on a “voluntary” basis. Any one out there bright enough to see where this might be leading?

As it is “voluntary” it will be included in “access targets” and GPs trying to avoid crap will lose money.

Those who use it will be opening the biggest Pandora’s box of spam they have ever encountered as patients will be less selective in their abuse of email than managers.

Still there may be some restrictions on this as the local Politburo imposed a 1Mb file attachment size on their email system due to “abuse” of sending pictures so at least we might be spared 20 13Mb photographs from Tony on the dole in Thailand asking his Dr in the UK what this strange tropical rash might be after sleeping one night in a strange bed because he can’t be bothered to pay a local doctor to look at it but would also like an urgent appointment the minute his plane touches down in 4 weeks time. Taken on his Canon D1 camera and sent from his iPhone and while I am on line can I order a repeat prescription, get some free condoms sent over, sick note for the next 6 months etc etc.

Now fellow resistance fighters the Party have started the biggest government sponsored spamming exercise in history. And it is coming your way soon. Let those who have no drug reps, financial advisers or other shady dealers on their lists sleep soundly. Otherwise be prepared for the tsunami of spam slowly building in an ocean near your communicator inbox.

Praise be to the Party and their stupid ideas that will deny healthcare through misguided attempts at technology that they do not understand but do profit handsomely by. 60% increase in IT budget to improve connections by BT anyone? Could this be the reason?

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