Safeguarding Adults Training: the Thickerrazi training the bright

The local Politburo have “mandated” (remember that all members of the local Thickerazzi are duly “elected” based on their incompetence to PCT posts) that all those to whom they subcontract should now have to undergo under pain of death “Safeguarding Adults Training”.

Now we thought that this might be how we protect our staff and our limited thoughts on this new management buzzword were great! Flak jackets, side arms and M16s but no.

Party speak means, that Safeguarding Adults Training means protecting those with “learning disabilities”.

Are we allowed to use the term “learning disabilities” or should it be less able to protect themselves? That was the initial term but then, in a slot scheduled for an hour (because this is important Politburo “re education”), we had half of our practice cramped into a small room listening to an incredibly important seconded district nurse reading from a Party prepared (Praise be) presentation on a laptop delivered in 15 minutes flat.

It was delivered thus because although we had been told to allocate an hour to this “important” and more educated (than us) speaker they arrived late (because they were vitally important and busy) to a room full of staff (who could have been doing something useful) doing nothing.

Such is the importance of Party dummkopfs employed to “re educate” us to the Party line that they can disable half of a practice’s work force for one tenth of the Practice’s working day to listen to something that could have been put on a couple of sheets of A4 read and binned in 2 minutes.

What was interesting to any cynic, not that we are here at ND, was the following:

That all the measures outlined as being now “mandatory” in the training were meant to have been in place in 2007 based on Acts of Parliament from 2000.

We were given a copy of the procedures (2007) to be followed (in 2009) a huge resource of rainforest destruction surely destined for landfill end use.

We were informed that as a result of these changes there were now only 32 “safeguarding managers” in post to be “referred” to. This number of managers is only a few less than the number of additional GPs we should have locally in the ever over affluent Northenshire to bring us back up to the low levels of the national average of GPs per number of patients.

Given the 15 minute presentation (that should have been an hour) the examples of abuse illustrated would all have applied to the Baby P, Staffordshire hospitals, Iraqi US military prisons and Guantanamo Bay all of which could have been used as examples of abuse in the “Safe Guarding Adults” training NHS corporate laptop presentation.

They were not. But we hadn’t had our training and so we all would have missed these examples of abuse.

A busy district nurse who was “safe guarding adults” did the presentation clearly an efficient use of this resource? We are short of “working” district nurses following a disastrous reorganization of the service which saw 80% leave.

We were told that if,

after, a referral to a “safeguarding manager”,

there was felt to be a “case of abuse” then a local committee of dummkopfs would be appointed and if they then felt there was any evidence of criminality that they would refer it to the Police. Bright boys then on such a committee and they would stop any further “investigation” before resuming their “investigations” when the Police had finished theirs.

Clearly the Party and its Politburo’s investigations are more thorough than those presented to the Courts that they use merely as an information gathering service.

Are we missing something here dear reader?

So a case of a child abused reported to “a line manager” who then reports to a “safeguarding manager” will now result in the convening of a “committee” of social workers, nurses, doctors etc. all within the statuary 10 days.

If the “Committee” then decides there may be a criminal act they will then refer to the Police.

So continuity of evidence is not as important as following Politburo procedure “to protect” a vulnerable individual? While the Committee is being formed what happens?

Nothing?

Apart from possible further abuse?

Every member of staff said the same thing: “waste of time and what did they tell us that we did not already know?”

(The words “what a load of sh*t” was the most common descriptive word to describe the presentation and that was just the practice nurses).

Only one person in a room of twenty did not know what they were doing and that was the speaker who will continue peddling like any drug dealer their gear but to no market. The market is already saturated with knowledge of this subject.

Praise be to the Party and its every excellent local Politburo managers for telling us as much as they know about this issue = nothing.

They are ticking boxes and we already dealing with the problems they have only just discovered and feel they should share with us.

(We apologise to any chimpanzee readers as given recent research into primates there is a move to reclassify their species as Homo as in Homo sapiens. Unfortunately no one seems to regard the classification of NHS managers and politicians into H.thickus or H.incompetans as important. At least chimpanzees can think and adapt).