Sunday, 26 July 2009

A Present from the Party, the success of the Swine Flu line and Things can only get better 003

Another day at the front and we each had on our desks a gift from the local Party commissars. Our own personal flu protection mask this time with not just one set of filters (2 per mask) but 2 X 2 filters.

Clearly this will be a long campaign for front line doctors to be protected against the hazards of interior decorating namely paint spraying and sanding which these masks are designed to protect against but our staff just have to manage without any protection. The learned local commissars feel that nurses and receptionists do not need any protection.

You can see what these masks are designed to protect their wearer against in the following paragraph taken from this link look for the section regarding the filter 2138 the ones issued to us to see how it protects us against swine flu. In fact are any of the filters designed for swine flu?

Some more research on the effectiveness of the filters is found here.

This gives the following information about the supplied filters:

“The 2138 filter has been classified as a GP3 particulate filter, and is thus able to be used for protection from mechanically and/or thermally generated particulates i.e. it provides protection against dusts, mists, fumes & ozone as well as for toxic materials like beryllium. It is also suitable for use against low vapour pressure chemicals (V.P. <1.3 Pa or 0.01 mm Hg at 25 deg C) up to ten times the Exposure Standard and also offers relief from nuisance* levels of organic vapours and acid gases such as chlorine & sulphur dioxide.

NOTE: The 3M™ Disc Filter 2138 provides GP3 protection only with full facepiece
respirator. Provides GP2 protection with half facepiece respirator.”

You will see that a lot of thought has gone into supplying us with filters that specifically stop the transmission of the flu virus as outlined above. At £ 15.00 + a mask and filters on top clearly public money well spent on something that offers no apparent protection against viral particles but scares patients.

The commissars are clearly worried as they realise even though they have their own masks and Tamiflu they cannot run the health service when even minor illness strikes. Clearly there is fear and panic in issuing these masks to personnel less important than themselves as this goes against Party policy of GPs = under worked overpaid scum on golf course.

The NHS Flu Pandemic line has been a great success that demonstrates the years of planning (panic) that has gone into the best prepared country in the worlds planning for this crisis.

Sir Liam was on G(ormless) M(oron) TV saying that the best prepared country’s plans had only estimated 25,000 calls per day not the 9.3 million calls (estimated) in the first hour. A mere miscalculation of some 2 orders of magnitude which I am sure is allowed for in emergency planning in the same way that inches versus centimetres helps land Mars missions successfully.

Add to that a late start and it is all coming together that the UK is the best prepared country in the world for swine flu. We are so well prepared that we have to export ill patients to Sweden for life saving treatment.

Today we have had patients who have dutifully followed the Party’s advice to ring NHS Swine Flu (Porky Pie) line only to be unable to understand their operatives English. “They speak too fast” and “I can’t understand them” were comments relayed to us. So where do they go?

To their GP.

Another patient was given a Tamiflu prescription authorisation code but the chemist did not recognize it so where did the patient go?

To their GP to get a correctly written prescription.

Another success in relieving GP workload. Yes less phone calls but more work sorting out problems generated by the Flu Line which is so different to other great Party successes like NHS reDirect.

Patients from a nearby town were forced to travel 20 miles to get their prescription as they were given a code that was only valid at a Tamiflu distribution point (TamDP) 20 miles from where they lived.

We thought this was just local to us but it was on the evening local news from a region far south of us that other places in Northernshire had the same problem. See this link.

You will notice in this link how the flu buddy aka the patient is sent to collect the Tamiflu in person to minimise the risk to the admin staff now issuing and dispensing drugs. Clearly another sign of the plan's success in action.

The official way of getting Tamiflu in the far south of Northenshire we found here and in case you think the TamDPs are secret as per the clip try this link to find yours.

No contradictory advice here then?

Clearly the best prepared country in the world?

Like the lager, probably not in the slightest.

Also we have predicted the black market for Tamiflu. There is a rumour going round that a delivery truck to a TamDP was knocked off and the only drug taken was the magical Tamiflu.

And we are being told not to panic by none other than the new health minister himself. Seems that there may be a slightly critical report about the flu preparation coming this week. Surely this cannot be a problem for the Government of the best prepared country in the world? Probably a lot of problems given how we and other bloggers have seen this preparation in action.

Praise be to the Party and their prudent panicking, sorry planning.

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