A Happy Christmas to all our readers and thank you.

At this time on Christmas Day we suspect that most people are with their families and certainly the worse for an excess of calorie and ethanol intake. Certainly the many contributors of the team have dispersed far and wide for a few days.

We would like to remind our readers of the following “facts” and hope that they heed our advice in the same way that we respect those seniors who advise us (for the better of course).

Remember, dear readers, do not allow anyone under 50 to touch alcohol for this is harmful, stick to no more than 6000 calories on Christmas Day for any more will be harmful, do not wash the turkey for this is most harmful than washing your hands and, finally for younger readers, in this their possibly first white Christmas, do not eat either yellow or brown snow for these are neither frozen lemonade or frozen chocolate and may be harmful.

We would also advise that the new sport of bowl the Pope at Xmas over is not a good idea as the collateral damage of cardinals with broken legs merely increases Accident and Emergency waiting times and is harmful for those slipping in snow and breaking bones for non sporting reasons.

Thank you for reading and for those who have taken the trouble to comment thank you too. It is much appreciated that you take the trouble to do so and has led us to explore other avenues as a result.

Now onto the 57th unit of alcohol . . . .a slight excess over what was a once “safe” weekly limit.

Praise be to the Party for inventing Christmas unless you have to work.

At least this year it is as white for the first time in years as MPs’ expenses are in contrast to the overpaid idle GPs who do not get 3 weeks off for Xmas. . .