Licence to kill? We busy doing nothing . . . .

For most of the British public the decision of the General Medical Council to introduce a licence to kill, sorry practice, will be of as much interest as a parson’s burp on the island of Tokelau.

In summary the GMC (all praise to them for whatever it is they do with our 410 sovs (or £ 410) registration fee a year has decided that you can now as a doctor be:

1) unregistered but useless = cheapest
2) registered and unlicensed = expensive (£145) and useless
3) registered and licensed = more expensive but able to work as a real doctor so possibly on balance a tad useful for those that earn their living this way.

An aside dear reader regarding option number 2, if you are desperately lonely or bored have a look here at question number 4:

“Holding registration without a licence allows doctors to show to employers, overseas regulators and others that they remain in good standing with the GMC.”

We like that phrase “good standing with the GMC” it reminds us of showing “respect” in The Godfather movies. An intersting turn of phrase for having paid their (reduced bung) registration fee. But enough and onward that was the boring but an educational bit for our readers over with now onto the real point of this post.

The date for being licensed was 16 November and if you ever visit the GMC website and some of us do mainly to check if dodgy doctors who are working are actually registered you will have read, assuming you are able, a note saying that after the licensing date this information will appear on the GMC website for free, gratis, nothing.

With us so far?

So if you want to find out if a doctor is registered, licensed and therefore legally able to practice do you know how you may be able to find this out?

If you cannot work this out we suggest you leave now and enrol in your local junior school for the start of a lifetime’s education that you have missed. Or work for the local Politburo they need class acts like you and it is a job for life.

A good 6 weeks before the LEGAL need for a licence an elite branch of the local Thickerazzi sent a letter out locally to each GP asking them if they:

1) had applied for a licence

and

2) would the doctors send them a copy of the letter saying they could have a licence.

As with all the important and highly useful Politburo requests there was the usual “urgent” deadline. Vitally important as any employee of a local Politburo has to finish work by 13.00hrs every Friday. What they do the rest of the working week is a complete mystery.

In other words are you still legally able to practise medicine now (yes we don't need a licence) and more importantly WILL you be able in a few weeks time when licensing comes in?

This was so that the local Politburo could ensure that all the performing seals on the local Politburo’s (GP) “Performers’ List” were able to practice medicine with a licence that you hadn't got, didn't need and was not legally needed at the time of asking .

Well done comrade managers we are sure you will have had a triple vodka and caviar for this completely wasteful use of public money and a waste of GP time to achieve what?

A list of doctors who may have a licence to practice medicine a few weeks before they are legally required to do so?

And if one of them had been struck off would they still be on the Performers list when licensing comes in?

Several of us here at ND Central found that due to our age we could not remember if we had applied for a licence, or if the dog had eaten the letter for the licence, or if it was in the back pocket of our jeans that went into the washing machine. Still if you are senile you can still be on a Performers' list as long as you send your letter in.

Given what we said would it have not been cheaper for one NHS comrade manager to spend an hour on the GMC website when licensing was ACTUALLY introduced and LEGALLY required to ensure that the performer’s (seals) list was UP TO DATE?

Of course not comrades, as any Soviet system has full employment of comrade workers busy dong nothing. They are not that bright. What are these people doing with our money and more importantly what do they actually achieve?

Nothing perchance? You decide this was not made up.

Praise be to the Party who protect the Public from “dodgy doctors” by squandering the Public’s money on useless exercises in incompetent bureaucracy.

What will they be asking for next?

Doctors’ death certificates from all those currently employed by the local Politburo to enable them to plan workforce requirements for the next century? Jest ye not, it might be next, dear reader given the current state of NHS Management . . .