Wednesday, 28 March 2012

Trouble at t’pumps and politicians.

At lunchtime, after an early start, we ventured out from surgery to do a home visit but before attending to this acutely mobile patient with nothing wrong with them one of the team had to attend a supermarket to get some vitals. Clutching the list we did in the Ferrari ventured forth only to be met by queues akin to the Christmas Eve rush.

The queues were not at the checkouts but at the gasoline station and were actually stopping our patients from getting to their usual lard fix from the supermarket itself.

While traversing the vast Northernshire emptiness from a branch surgery to a local supermarket across the high moors and through the deeply wooded forests of Northernshire we had been listening to various radio stations belonging to the British Broadcasting Corporation usually called the BBC most notably the airplay of Radio 2 and 4.

While there was the usual Party spin of there is no problem comrade the media seemed to have stumbled across a load of Party dullards whose knowledge of what they were talking about was somewhat suspect regarding the fuel crisis and the journalists interviewing them were having a field day. For with each question they were asked the politicians dug themselves deeper into a pit of ignorance while the journalists piled more earth on top of the floundering politicians.

The bits we listened too and were were the news at 13.00 on Radio radio 4 (07.10 mins onwards), a phone in on BBC radio 2 and on channel 4 news here the piece de resistance from this program is here the interview with energy minister Charles Hendry.

The message was don’t panic stay calm but be prepared. Hmmm.

Anyone remember the flu pandemic a few years ago? It is almost deja vu. Still as GPs we still have our all protective anti flu masks and know how to sneeze into our elbows and so this alone will surely magic up some petrol when we most need it?

So comrade healthcare workers listen to your ministers. Fill up your Jerry cans (illegal due to the volumes of fuel in them), put them in your garages (only 22% of comrade workers have them presumably more will have stable blocks instead?) and rely on the fact that no minister will have a problem with a fuel shortage for we are all in this together.

So when you need more fuel for your Ferrari for a 300 round trip tomorrow you can rest assured that in the same queue for aviation grade 5 star extra leaded petrol (if you can remember this at the pumps you are old) you will see Marshall DC and Sam filling up their people carrier, just in case. They will of course not be panicking just being prepared.

Praise be to the Party for repeating the lessons of the flu pan(ic)demic and starting even earlier this time. When nothing is happening (no fuel drivers’ strike has been announced yet) panic the populus. It might make you feel good.

At least it gives you time to er think? Now where is the army? Afghanistan or Dewsbury?