Saturday, 7 March 2009

NHS managers, cancer, compassion and “debit” days

The team at ND have posted about the problems that those of us that live in Third World countries like Northernshire have in obtaining First World medicine there due to the presence of an alien creature called the Thickerazzi.

The plot thickens as to how little the NHS look after their staff. The relative that we have discussed previously has been told they cannot have a day off to come to terms with the recurrence of their potentially terminal disease they will have to take it as “time owing” or a “debit” day to the local Party commissar manager.

Furthermore the same “manager” also said that the relative will have to work extra hours this week to make up the “debit” day. The manager then went onto say that they may have to shut the unit this relative had help set up and run if they go off sick after surgery. The “managers” will not be “able to cope” with having to run this unit and may have to shut it.

They are after all fit and well and idle.

Such compassion to think that a staff member’s illness will impact so heavily on their éclair eating and paper pile rearranging sessions. How will they cope?

The relative concerned is still waiting for an appointment. Another friend of this relative in the same unit has been diagnosed today with the same illness. This has added to the relative’s distress. No doubt there will be another “debit” day conversation going on here.

The same managers that asked this relative to set up a specialist day unit were recently visited by other NHS managers who were investigating the increased costs of this unit due to its success.

Although the unit was saving money overall by reducing the costs incurred by reducing inpatient admissions the unit was costing more and so the Thickerazzi that is NHS management needed to know why.

They left unable to understand that if you spend £2 to save £100 you save £98 each time you spend £2. Clearly there was a loss somewhere as the comrade graph manager had told them this.

They were just looking at the £2 it cost and spending God knows how many pounds to look at the £2 being spent.

But they have nothing else to do as they don’t see or treat patients and they are a growth industry of incompetence and inability like the sub prime mortgage market and so will ultimately generate huge returns in healthcare.

An interesting term in the new MHS (Management Health Service) dictionary is a “debit” day?

This must contrast with all the NHS managers who all must have at least 900 full years of “credit” time. Despite there being so much “credit” time in the MHS this must ultimately cost money and so lead to increased Party borrowing.

This must be the so called “toxic debt” that is the MHS. They spend a lifetime doing nothing and are always in credit. They do nothing to help customers (patients), deliver promises on the never ever and ultimately cock up and the system starts to implode.

Are we at ND seeing something that might have happened elsewhere under the current guardianship of those that run the NHS on our behalf? No, we can’t be seeing double? Can we?

Of course just like the banks which also deal with “credit” and “debit” issues there will be a payback period.

Will someone realize that there is so much management or “toxic debt” that is doing nothing and will ultimately threaten NHS patient care?

What will the politicians do then? Chuck money at it and import staff (debt) from overseas while overproducing doctors (printing money) here and not employing them?

Praise be to the Party and the compassion and efficiency that is the MHS and its managers. Always there to care for you in their “credit” days and kick you in the teeth when you need some help with your “debit”.

Banks and managers: burning money and caring sod all for those who pay for them to do so and then expecting their help when they cock up. Are we at ND Central seeing double?

No comments: