Thursday, 2 October 2008

Appraisal: Deans Billious’s and Tedious’s guide to this worthless piece of ***** sorry paperwork.

Northernshire’s resident most excellent post graduate deans, Bill and Ted discuss appraisal:

Bill: Yo dudes NorthernDoc has just had their appraisal so that must mean they are one cool happening doctor dude and may continue to practice medicine in the Northernshire deanery?

Ted: Most excellent Bill I am so glad as NorthenDoc is my caring happening family GP. So hey what is appraisal dude? Is NorthernDoc now cool?

Large pause.

Bill: Wish I knew Ted.

Ted: Well my good Dr Billious appraisal is a happenin’ dude thing where you hang with your homeys called other Doctor dudes for a couple of hours and achieve nothing unless you are the appraiser dude where you get a wad of money for doing nothing. Wey can anyone do appraisal?

Bill: Way to go Dr Tedious appraiser dude respect (and money). I am interested man.

Ted: (Strut air guitar) And this is to stop another Harold H Shipman?

Bill: Not! He would have walked his appraisal.

Ted: Well then Billious what is appraisal dude?

Bill (now a GMC homey): Well Ted. You sit on your arse and do a ground hog day with the homey dude called an appraiser and fill in the same forms each year in order to make you a better doctor and produce a Personal Retard Plan (a PR Plan).

Ted: Sorry Bill, I think that was a Personal Development Plan not a PR plan which I am sure you are aware is a non PC medical in joke which involves a glove and KY jelly available at pharmacies without prescription.

Bill: So appraisal is a process where I say what I have I done different (not) for the last year and then say what will I do different (not) for the next year even though nothing has changed?

Ted: Yes. You answer the same questions what stops you dude and give the same answers year after year as guess what? Nothing changes. And this makes you a more excellent doctor dude.

Bill: So appraisal is most excellent as it makes you a more excellent doctor dude as it achieves nothing by doing more arse sitting?

Bill: Excellent! I understand now why some GMC guy copied it from the nurses. More work for nothing = safer practice. Excellent!

Ted: Party on dude can I become an appraiser as I need a new guitar?

Bill: Most certainly as you are over qualified . . .

Bill and Ted (in unison) Appraise on dudes and be excellent to each other.

1 comment:

Nurse Anne said...

Oh my gosh i love Bill and Ted. It's my favourite movie of all time. I wish I thought of this for my blog!!